I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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