Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god it's open bar.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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