I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
