I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
