I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
