I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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