You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
