Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
