dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
