who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
