They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
