The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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