I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
