Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
