Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize