just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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