eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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