Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
