Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
