Sponge bath it is.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
