My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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