And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
