My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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