if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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