I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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