He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
