we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You ruined the universe
Randomize
