pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
