hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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