My first STD was from a foam party
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
