Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
whose parrot is this?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
