the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
