whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize