his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
