1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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