the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
