I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
