I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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