Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
my poor anus
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
