You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
