i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The ass gains better be worth it
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