Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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