don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
