Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My penis needs a shock collar
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
