ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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