it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
