I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
