I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
