I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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