It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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