on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
