One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
