So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
