i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
