I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
