new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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