just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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