I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
