oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
