Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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