College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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