Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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