This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
