Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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