Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize