Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
