YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
