oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this beer tastes like vomit already
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
