I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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