In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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