walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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