I wannas sexs uuuuu
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
