The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
