well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
