I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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