Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
